Thoughts About My Diagnosis ...

My mind is reeling with thoughts of my heart being stopped while the surgeon removes pieces of the saphenous vein in my leg and bypasses the arteries in my heart. I don't think I've ever been so uneasy about anything in my entire Life ... I wish it were over already and I was in the recovery stage.

I was diagnosed on Friday, April 8th ... 2011. What kind of prank is the Universe playing on me this time? I realize that I've lived my entire adult Life as though there were no history of heart disease or diabetes in both sides of my family, but I'm only 49 years old! I haven't even begun living yet! I just graduated from nursing school a year ago ... changed careers in mid-Life ... is this some type of karmic repayment?

I know, I know ... God doesn't give us anything we can not handle ... and I do believe that. I guess I should be grateful that my dreams (nightmares) and other events led me to the ED on Thursday ... and grateful that my PCP was knowledgable enough to say: "I think I want to do a cardiac catheterization on you to see definitively what's happening in your heart." (Much to my dismay, I might add ... but thank God for smart physicians!)

So, anyway, here's a video that will explain exactly what CABG surgery is and how it is performed ... I found this video interesting, yet quite intimidating ... This is going to be MY surgery ... MY heart being controlled ... MY Life in someone else's hands ...