Christmastide & Wonderment

Okay, so Christmas is right around the corner and I have had the opportunity to spend time with loving family and friends for a few days of this season before stepping back into brutal reality once again. All I can say is it's a good thing I am a strong and determined Soul! Being a human with heart dysfunction, I really don't need added stress in my already stress filled Life! 

I need to remember that if I was working at this time I most likely would not have had the opportunity to visit with the kids and grandsons right now. I need to remember that everything happens for a reason, and I am right where I am supposed to be! Everything is an illusion ... all is illusory and in the big picture all is well. Always.

Thank God I'm resilient and willing to see my character flaws and change them for my own betterment and for my own happiness! One just can not be happy and peaceful within if she is focusing exclusively on the negatives in her environment! Life happens, death happens, and Life moves forward either way ... I miss those who are leaving the planet ahead of me, but I know they will be preparing the way for the masses who will be following in the coming years ...


Now it is time for me to get ready to travel ... in the meantime, please have a lovely day and remember that only YOU can make it a GREAT day!!

Gearing up ...

Nope. I haven't begun my training as of today. I'm still gearing up for that. I am on the 7th day of this vegan cleanse, though. And I feel very different, so much better than I did last week at this time. Last week I had a "sugar/carb/turkey hangover" lol. I began my cleanse on Saturday 11/26. 

The cleanse consists of fruits, vegetables, and legumes/beans mostly. What is suggested to eliminate from your diet for 21 days is: sugar, gluten, alcohol, animal products (including all dairy!), and caffeine or a combination of a couple or more of these items. I have eliminated sugar, alcohol, animal products, most gluten but NOT caffeine! And I don't drink alcohol so that really isn't a biggie for me, either lol ... but I feel much better eating vegan. Vegans don't typically give up gluten. 


Gluten is a choice because some people have sensitivities to it. I feel better when I do not eat gluten, but a little here and there doesn't seem to affect me at all. I am eating cleaner, healthier, and less in my portions now. I find it helps to juice as many fruits and veggies as possible, too. Whole oats and grains are wonderful! 


Anyway, I have been enjoying this cleanse so much that I've pretty much forgotten I'm doing one! I really love the almond cheddar 'cheese', almond milk, vegetable based 'meats', everything I have been enjoying for most of this year is on this cleanse. Eating this way has lowered my triglycerides considerably and in August my numbers were amazing! My cardiologist was very pleased, except for his on-going gripe of "You need to lose weight!" lol ...

My triglycerides prior to surgery were an extremely unhealthy 526! The norm is below 149 ... when I had my lipids analyzed in August, my triglycerides were down to 112!! This is due to a combination of eating differently and taking a statin regularly. My overall cholesterol was 166, where the norm is 199 or lower. And my LDL/HDL ratio was perfectly balanced for the first time in my adult Life! Score!


So now, to get back to gearing up for this heavy duty training! I'm getting psyched! It's gonna be fun :) Doing yoga at the West Palm Beach library every Saturday morning with my sister-in-law and niece! Awesome!


Namasté, my friends!

The End & The Beginning ...

Wow! It's December 1st already and I'm feeling better than I have in a while! This week Linda and I have been on a vegan cleanse with my sister Celeste, my brother John, and another friend Kara. We keep in touch via Facebook in a private group called "21-Day Cleanse" ... it's been wonderful so far! We are barreling towards the end of this year and what a year it's been! So much has happened!


I made a decision this week. After discussing some things with my sister-in-law Martha on Thanksgiving, I decided to make a commitment to my health. Not to wait until 2012 or New Year's Day or even for "Monday" to start, but to begin immediately and move forward one day at a time. My CABG (cabbage) surgery was on April 14th, so on December 14th it will have been exactly 8 months. My surgeon informed me that it would take approximately one year to feel up to par and back to normal again ~ whatever 'normal' means LOL ... one year will take us up to April 14th 2012!!! Unbelievable!!! 


I have decided to begin some hard core training for mini-triathalons in 2012. Naturally, I need to reduce some of this excess weight, but as I train I am confident that the weight will begin to fall off steadily. Currently, I'm on a vegan cleanse for the next 15 days. I did this same cleanse last August (2010) and did not feel as good as I do now, but that may be because I was already struggling with four blocked coronary arteries at that time. 


I do feel much better now than I did last year and I'm certain that as I continue to reduce and train, I will feel a little better each day! I hope that you are all in on supporting me in my endeavors this year. I would definitely be there for you all if the situation was reversed, that is for sure! 


Thank you all in advance! 
Peace, Love, Happiness!


Kathi 

Nurse as Caring Project

I completed this project for my class Nursing as a Discipline and Profession at FAU in Fall 2010. We were asked to use our creativity to express a caring aspect of nursing and since I was working on a med/surg and rehabilitation unit at the time, I chose this theme. I go flat a few times and the recording is quite RAW ... but please try to overlook that ... it's the message that counts :)

Peace all ~
Kathi R.

Grateful!!

I'm so grateful to be alive today! It's been two months since my surgery, and every day I am thankful for my powerful intuition, which told me there was something not quite right with my heart. I am not ashamed to say that I feigned chest pains initially to be seen by my physician. I am not ashamed to say that on the way to the hospital I began to light a cigarette in my nervousness, but stomped it out immediately and threw a whole pack out the window! (Yes, I littered, but my justification is that some homeless dude who couldn't afford cigarettes thought the gods sent him a gift that day!) 


Anyway, today as I gaze out the window thinking back on my Life and every step that brought me closer to this moment in Time, I am so grateful to be alive. When I walk along the ocean's edge, taking in the tingling scents of the sea and tasting the salty breeze on my lips, I am so grateful to be alive. As I watch the children running, swimming, and playing on the beach and in the surf, I am grateful to be alive. I hear the gulls overhead screaming their dismay at not being handed any tasty morsels from the multiple coolers on the sand,  and I am grateful to be alive. 


I guess what I'm trying to express today is that no matter what Life throws my way, I'm making an effort to remember how thankful I am to be alive! No matter what.


Peace & Blessings to All ~
Kathi

Another Heart Healthy Recipe!

Ahh, this one is breakfast, but you can actually eat it anytime of the day! It's absolutely delicious, filling, and heart healthy to the max! Very low in fat, cholesterol, and sugars it adds blueberries, one of the new super foods of the century! Blueberries are loaded with phytochemicals and memory boosting anti-oxidants to fight those nasty free radicals!! If you like, you can substitute a cup of strawberries or raspberries or mixed berries. Most berries are low in calories and as good as blueberries ... this is one even my little Toy Poodle, Kody, enjoys!

Here it is:

1 Cup of Plain 0% fat yogurt, such as Fage Greek Style Yogurt
1 Cup Organic blueberries
1/4 Cup raw chopped walnuts
Drizzle of Organic blue agave syrup ... a natural sweetener that does not promote an insulin response!

Mix it all together and enjoy!

This is one of my very favorite breakfasts and it's filled with healthy nutrients and has pretty good staying power! Try it out and let me know what you think!

Blessings All
Kathi

As Promised: Heart-Healthy Cincinnati Chili Recipe

Greetings Everyone!


I promised you the recipe for this wonderfully, flavorful chili recipe and I am following through. I've had to begin eating differently since my surgery, and although I have not totally cut fats out of my diet (and probably never will - remember that good fat aids in proper digestion!) I do use healthy fats such as extra virgin first cold-pressed olive oils, safflower oils, and flax, seed oil.  


I always strive to use organic ingredients, because with organic and locally grown fruits, veggies, dairy, and grass-fed poultry and other animal products, I can rest assured that I am not getting any of those nasty chemicals, antibiotics, or growth hormones.


This chili recipe calls for some unusual spices and flavorings, but the end result was absolutely delicious! For a vegetarian chili, cut out the beef or turkey and add more beans: all kinds of beans! Red and white and black beans for added protein, great tasted and texture, and boosted protein!


Cincinnati-Style Chili (Five-Way)


Olive oil (I use a Mr. Misto oil sprayer to reduce fat, but you can use no more than 2 teaspoons)
2 large finely chopped onions
3 cloves of minced garlic
8 oz. of lean ground grass fed beef (buffalo meat has the absolute lowest fat content and tastes just like beef!) or Jennie-O turkey. (Meat is optional!!!)
2 tablespoons of chili powder
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
1.5 cups chopped canned tomatoes (fire-roasted organic are best!)
1/4 cup water
1 15-oz can of red kidney beans (and other beans if making vegetarian)
3 tablespoons of tomato paste
2 teaspoons of brown sugar
2 teaspoons of unsweetened cocoa
8 oz. spinach linguine
4 thinly sliced scallions
4 tablespoons shredded veggie cheese - cheddar flavor or 2% shredded cheddar (optional)


(Recipe makes 4 servings)


1. Spray large non-stick skillet with olive oil. Add onions and garlic and cook until onions are golden brown, about 10 minutes.


2. Stir in meat, chili powder, and cinnamon and cook until meat is no longer pink (about 5 minutes)


3. Stir in tomatoes, beans, water, tomato paste, brown sugar, and cocoa until chili sauce is flavorful (about 10 minutes)


4. Meanwhile, cook pasta according to package directions. Drain and transfer pasta to large bowl. Add chili and scallions and toss to combine. Sprinkle with cheddar shreds ... Serve and enjoy!


Let me know if you enjoyed this recipe as much as we did :)


Namaste and Blessings


Kathi

I Found Out ...

I am currently 8 weeks post-op and just realized this week how very extensive this open-heart surgery really is. I truly thought I'd be up and about like nothing had happened by now and would be running back to work within a month and a half or two months. My body has reacted tremendously to let me know that I'm not superhuman and to put me in my place but good!

I went up north to visit with my children, family, and little grandsons last week. I thought everything was going to be great, and actually it was. The only thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was the fact that after walking around the Bangor Children's Museum for two hours with my 4 year old grandson, I was pretty exhausted! I wonder how I'm supposed to go back to working 12 hours shifts now when I spend the majority of my time on my feet there? It made me really start thinking about the magnitude of my surgery and what my poor body (and mind!) has been through in the past two months!

I'm not sure I'm ready now to attempt those 12 hour shifts yet. Thank God HR understands ... besides all that, the hole that developed in the bottom of my incision 3 weeks post-op is still there, and I continue to pack it twice daily. It is closing slowly but surely, though. I see my surgeon again on Wednesday, and hopefully for the last time this time for good. 

I'm going to start Phase II of my cardiac rehabilitation as well, as I got a call from the Heart Hospital regarding such yesterday. I wasn't going to do cardiac rehab because my surgeon told me I may be bored with it being so young, but the person who called me regarding it explained that I would be continuously monitored (my heart rate, etc.) whilst exercising and it might be an advantage for me. I'm actually a little leery about going back to the gym on my own currently, and that's one of the main reasons I haven't gone yet. Not to mention that I can't swim with the incision the way it is, so it would be a moot point since I truly enjoy swimming at the gym. I guess I'm a bit worried about my heart when I begin my exercise regime again, and with good reason I suppose. So being monitored in the beginning will be a wonderful thing for me, at first.

Enough for today! God Bless all!

Plant-Based Diets

Well, now, I've been reading a book a dear friend of the family gave to me following my surgery. It's titled "Dr. Dean Ornish's Program for Reversing Heart Disease" and it's quite eye-opening. Not only is the man intelligent and a cardiologist, he incorporates all aspects of dis-ease in the process of reversal, including those spiritual and emotional aspects. In other words, his program is not just about the medical and physiological aspects of heart disease. 


So far, I've learned quite a bit and more has been validated for me in reading just the first few chapters of his book. He writes in terms even a lay person can understand, and he has a great sense of humor, as well. The book is laid out well, and also has many recipes (plant-based & healthy) in the back of the book for easy access. I would recommend this book to anyone who is genetically inclined toward CAD (coronary artery disease) or who has been diagnosed with hypertension or hypercholesterolemia. 

New Day, New Dawn

It is going on the 10th day post-op for me and I've been re-evaluating my Life each and every day. There is not much else to do, except read or watch television, actually, so taking the time to be more introspective has actually been a blessing for me. I've talked with my sister a little about this, as well. My Mom & my baby sister, Lisa, came down to help me out after surgery. One can count on family to help out in times of crisis ... and that is all one can count on. Thank God I have family who is willing to help. When Lisa leaves, I will be alone again during the days, but I will manage. One thing I know for sure is that I am a strong woman and I am roaring as I type :)


I'm not going to write much today, even though I haven't posted for a while now. I have a doctor's appointment today, which my sister will bring me to. (Not sure when they'll let me drive again, but hopefully soon!) I have some major changes in my Life I'm considering now ... especially in my Spiritual Life. These will be considered and discussed at a later date. Currently, I'm focused on healing and will discuss health issues with my PCP today when I see him. Just resting, healing, and getting stronger every day. 

DAY III POST OP

Okay, so I was a little out of it yesterday what with being short of breath and tachycardic post op, so I didn't have the energy to blog on Post Op Day II.  My cardiologist changed my medications to decrease my heart rate and to flush the fluid out of my body (gained 10 lbs of fluid in one day post op!)  ... he's the best cardiologist around. Met my surgeon's partner ... he talked to his cell phone most of the time ... talk about bedside manner ... lmao!


But now I'm on the flip side and I'm feeling better and stronger each day. Just want to keep moving forward ... I would now be an awesome cardiac nurse since I've been there, done that! Who could deny that fact? You really tend to learn a lot about cardiology when you're the patient :) So yesterday I was scared to death when my cardiologist ordered STAT tests: echo doppler, ABG's, etc. I was mortified and behaved in such a way that was conducive to FEAR! LOL But I'm sure I'm forgiven ... it would be best if docs would 'splain things first and then order STAT tests. 


I've been told he coddles his heart patients ... and I'm beginning to see that. He's a fabulous physician and he knows his stuff. He's been my doctor for 8 years ... and that is precisely why I came to Bethesda rather than Delray. He no longer goes to Delray ... only Bethesda and JFK, but naturally prefers Bethesda. Who wouldn't?


Well, I'm about spent now. Hope you all have sunshiny days!!


Peace, Love, and Blessings
Kathi xoxo

DAY I POST-OP

Well, here I am world! God protected me throughout surgery and I am here to tell my tale :) I'm not going to write much today because I'm pretty doped up and in some pain, but just wanted to say: Hello World! And thank each and every one of you for the positive thoughts, kind support, and powerful prayers. With God for me, no one could have been against me!


Love, Peace, and Blessings Until next time
Kathi ♥ ♡ ♬♪♫

This is IT! Thinking of Beautiful Rainbows ...

Greetings Friends & Family!  


Wishing you all the happiest and most serene of days as I sail towards the OR this morning! I have yet to prep myself with the final antibacterial shower ... I was grateful to speak with an old friend from high school last evening, who had this surgery many moons ago when he was barely into his 30's, and who lives today a stronger, happier, and healthier man! Thank God for that! He validated my fears and gave me more courage than I dare have this morning!

Rainbows is what I was thinking of this morning upon waking ... rainbows. And that beats the alternative, right? I think thinking of rainbows upon wakening is a wonderful omen: one that assures me God is with me!

Thank you all for your continued support, prayers, and the love I feel surrounding me like a comforting, warm and fluffy blanket! I'm resting assured I will see you or hear from each and everyone of you on the flip side of this! It's true that no matter how routine this surgery is, when you are the candidate for the 'cabbage' or open-heart surgery ... the prospect is definitely scary and intimidating, indeed :) 


Until I can sing, as my cousin's open-heart surgeon sang to him a few years ago: "Welcome back, my friend, to the show that never ends ..." I bid you all an exciting and peaceful day!


Peace, Love, & Blessings to All ~
Kathi  ♥ ♡    ♬♪♫

Nearly Ground Zero ...

Greetings & Salutations!

Remember that from "Charlotte's Web" when you were a kid? How I loved reading about Charlotte's ingenuity and creativity! Even though I loathed spiders back then ... those creepy, crawly multi-legged insects (shivering just thinking about them!) I adored Charlotte and her tenacity and loyalty to her friend, Wilbur the little pig who did not want to spend time at the butcher's ... EVER! 

What a lovely children's story it is :) I'm thinking happy thoughts tonight because it beats the alternative ... haha! Will I sleep this evening? I highly doubt it ... but perhaps I'll sleep tomorrow with loads of anesthesia in my system. Before it gets too late, I need to call an old friend ... 

So, they'll be stopping my heart and sewing new arteries/veins onto my aorta and coronary arteries to make blood flow possible within the myocardium tomorrow. Surgeon estimates it will take approximately 2 hours to bypass four vessels ... he HAS to be pretty much an expert. This is Dr. Geoffry Lynn ... he's the Medical Director here at Bethesda Heart Institute. I'm putting a link here so anyone can peruse the Bethesda site ... it's an absolutely beautiful facility that is only 3 years old. This is a not-for-profit facility, Bethesda Memorial Hospital. 

My Hospital & Surgeon

Peace, Love, & Blessings All ~

Kathi  ♥ ♡  ♫♪♬

Day 1 Pre-Surgery ... Another Video

So, I got some more information from my cardiovascular surgeon this morning. First he sent his PA in ... wow! What a hunk of a hottie he is! He discussed options, and I told him that my mother was flying in from Maine tonight so she can be here for my surgery. He said Wednesday they were doing a few 'cabbages' so Thursday may be better. He will talk with the surgeon. 


Get this: He told me not to worry too much. He said he knows it's easier said than done, but "let us worry about everything because we've done this thousands of times" with that big straight-toothed, white grin. The man should have been a model for GQ, not a PA! He wrote me a script for xanax ... hope it helps my anxiety.


I'm scheduled for surgery on Thursday morning ... not sure what to feel or think currently. It seems that these past few days have flown by so swiftly! Wednesday evening I didn't even know I had CAD (coronary artery disease) and Friday morning I was being told I needed CABG (coronary artery bypass graft) How strange is that? I remember the tears pouring down my cheeks as I lay there listening in horror as the cath physician explained my two options ... or death. So surreal.


So, they came up to bring down for a CXR (chest x-ray) and now I'm back in my room just waiting ... waiting ... waiting. Now the time will crawl. OK, the following video is short, real footage, and really interesting ... I would love to watch one (not mine!) someday ... 


Peace, Love, & Blessings to All ✝ ✝


Kathi ♥ ♥ ♬ ♫ ♪

Day 4 Post-Diagnosis ...

Pictured in this photo are my two lovely children DJ and Katie ... this was taken many years ago when we lived in Las Vegas around Christmas. Now my babies are grown adults ... but they'll always remain in my hearts as my babies :)

I was doing what I needed to do yesterday and began having chest pains again. Thank God for my friend Julie (fondly, 'Jules') and my baby sister Lisa ... (fondly, 'Teensie') for staying on the phone with me and keeping me sane in the moment! Julie sped up from Deerfield to bring me to the hospital because the ambulance would not take me to the hospital of my choice ... where my doctors practice ... can you believe that? And they have the audacity to charge $300.00 for the ride!!!

Anyway, I'm safe and sound for now at the Heart Institute at Bethesda in Boynton Beach ... when I took a walk earlier in the halls I noticed that from this floor I can see the ocean ... magnificent! I'm grateful for my family and friends tonight. I'm even grateful for the nitro-patch that's giving me the headache ... lol. I'm grateful for my son and daughter ... they've brought many bouts of laughter to my Life, as well as joy and unconditional love only a mother can feel for her offspring :) Oh, and some tears, too ... the whole spectrum of feelings are wrapped in a beautiful package called Motherhood ... 


So, my surgeon will be coming to chat with me in the morning ... it's currently around 2 AM and it seems I'm up again for a while :( Not sure if they're going to do the surgery on Wednesday or Thursday ... still anxious, scared ... but I know I have absolutely no control and am feeling positive in the fact that that 'voice' which urged me to come to the ED in the first place last Thursday was one of my Guardian Angels. I would not have been directed to come and find out about these occlusions in the first place if I was meant to leave this Earth plane so soon ... 


No, it's obvious that there is still work to be done here! I am woman, hear me roar ... lol. So, I'm gonna try to get some sleep now. I have a long day ahead tomorrow ... and my Mom is flying down from Maine tomorrow to be here for my surgery. Wow ... you'd never know she's 72 years old, that Mother of mine! What stamina! What a picture of health! She rocks!
Sweet Dreams all ... more to come!
Kathi ♡

Day 3 Post-Diagnosis ...

I got up so early this morning, even though I was up until about 2AM ... it's so strange, this sleeplessness. As a writer, it helps when I can express my thoughts and feelings in writing. So, this morning I wrote a poem about what is happening currently. By nature, I'm pretty private, so it's kind of alien to me to be sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings regarding this situation. I pray that my blog can help others who are young and vibrant and full of Life ... who also have to face their mortality with open heart surgery.


Today, I need to connect with my surgeon, my cardiologist, my endocrinologist, and my advisor at University to set up my surgery date. The sooner the better, I'm thinking.  Like a fool hanging on the edge of the precipice, I was going to finish this semester prior to having this Life saving surgery ... I guess I wasn't thinking correctly in the moment. My classes can wait! My heart, indeed my LIFE, takes precedence over classes no matter what!


My heart has been palpitating and squeezing since I was discharged from the Heart Institute on Saturday. I think it's anxiety ... understandably, I suppose. I've been arming myself with knowledge about this surgery and dismissing any and all negative comments or input in regard to my past Lifestyle choices (such as poor eating habits and smoking), as today is a new day and the past is the past and that is why it's over and DONE! I take care of my Self with nurturing and caring. 


I've found that there is a plethora of information out there in the forms of videos and websites about CABG surgery. It's amazing what you can find when you set out to research certain things. Hope you all have a great day! I'm aiming to ❥ ☀


Karma's Knocking on My Door
Copyright: © WolfDancer Publishing/Kathi Rancourt 2011

Karma’s knocking on my door, inviting itself in …

Tarnishing my happy thoughts, creating a black sin

Karma’s standing on my toes – It’s shouting in my ear

Denial is not working now - I’m overwhelmed with fear.

God of Light and God of Love shine through my weakened Soul

Wrap me in Your Divine Light, help me to be whole

Fill me with your tenderness, forgive my human ways

Guide me through each long, dark night and walk with me by day

Coming face to face with my mortality is nigh

Facing facts with courage keeps my Spirit burning high

My Life is in a stranger’s hands – no longer my control

has power in my meager Life – please hold my tired Soul

Please keep me safe, if that’s Your Plan - keep me in Your care

Help me know You are with me, that You are everywhere.

Karma’s knocking on my door – inviting itself in …

I’ll face this with empowerment – with God I know I’ll win

Peace, Joy, & Love to all 

Kathi ♥ ♫♪♬

Another Sleepless Night ...

Well, this has been happening for several months now ... this sleeplessness. I go to bed and fall asleep really quickly ... but I awaken hours later with thoughts that won't allow me to go back to sleep. Maybe it's because I've been working night shift for the past 8 months ... or perhaps it's peri-menopause. Whatever it is, it's annoying ...


So, tonight I can't stop thinking about my pending surgery. I can't believe I told the surgeon I wanted to wait 3 (THREE!!) weeks so I could finish up this semester's classes ... am I daft, or simply in denial??? Putting a much needed surgery on hold because I'm not finished with my classes while my heart awaits a much needed bypass so it can be oxygenated and fed appropriately is plain nuts, if I do say so myself ... 


So, I'm thinking about this pending surgery and trying to stay positive. After all, I've so much to live for! My children, my grandsons, my supportive, loving family and wonderful lifelong friends, all my friends, indeed ... I'm hoping (and praying fervently!) that all goes well :) Anyway, I'm one of the most positive thinking people I know ... 


Tonight, I'm merely sleepless ...

Thoughts About My Diagnosis ...

My mind is reeling with thoughts of my heart being stopped while the surgeon removes pieces of the saphenous vein in my leg and bypasses the arteries in my heart. I don't think I've ever been so uneasy about anything in my entire Life ... I wish it were over already and I was in the recovery stage.

I was diagnosed on Friday, April 8th ... 2011. What kind of prank is the Universe playing on me this time? I realize that I've lived my entire adult Life as though there were no history of heart disease or diabetes in both sides of my family, but I'm only 49 years old! I haven't even begun living yet! I just graduated from nursing school a year ago ... changed careers in mid-Life ... is this some type of karmic repayment?

I know, I know ... God doesn't give us anything we can not handle ... and I do believe that. I guess I should be grateful that my dreams (nightmares) and other events led me to the ED on Thursday ... and grateful that my PCP was knowledgable enough to say: "I think I want to do a cardiac catheterization on you to see definitively what's happening in your heart." (Much to my dismay, I might add ... but thank God for smart physicians!)

So, anyway, here's a video that will explain exactly what CABG surgery is and how it is performed ... I found this video interesting, yet quite intimidating ... This is going to be MY surgery ... MY heart being controlled ... MY Life in someone else's hands ...