Striving to be Our Authentic Selves ...

"The journey of consciousness, of mysticism, is to come to know yourself and your own motivations.'" ~ Caroline Myss

For many of us, Life is about striving to become our True and Authentic Selves. It's about being able to laugh at our mistakes, because if we live as authentically as we can we instinctively know there are no mistakes, only different paths to choose from. One day we may choose the path to the right, the next we choose a path to the left. Striving to be our True Authentic Self is living freely, with deep joy, serenity, and peace despite those who attempt to block our happiness. 


There are no regrets or guilt about the Past, because the Past is long gone. There are no worries about the Future,  because the Future is yet to come. There is only contentedness in the Present, in the moment, because it is where we know we belong. When we are striving to be our Authentic Self, we stand fast, honoring the Past and the Future, but with our feet firmly planted in the Present.


Some will attempt to bump us out of our peace, by intentionally attempting to hurt us with words, actions, thoughts. But because we are steadfast in our desire to be our True Authentic Self, we move forward with ease and joy, leaving those negative Souls in the Past. We choose not to associate with those who wish to constantly hurt us time and again. Our internal compass guides us along, as we walk hand in hand with our Higher Power, on our Journey to becoming our Authentic Self.


We are free from the ties that bind us to those who want to squelch our happiness,  because we are choosing our Authenticity. We know deeply that our love for them, for all, is unconditional, but we also remain discerning in not allowing our Authentic Self to step into the web of intricately woven resentments and negativity that some weave around themselves and attempt to snag us in. We are striving to be Authentic, and in striving to Be, we are. We let those negative Souls go, with love, peace, and understanding. No longer do we allow their poison to affect us in any way. We simply allow them to Be.


Striving to be our Authentic Self is a Journey, a Sacred Chore ... it is internal and external work. Internal and external changes must be navigated with the assistance of our Higher Powers. We must live in constant awareness of our actions, words, thoughts. We must monitor our emotions carefully. We must be aware of all our human emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, fear ... and carefully weave our way through each when necessary. Emotions are never right or wrong, they just are. And when we are striving to become our Authentic Self, we need to learn to work with them, not against them. 


In becoming our Authentic Self, we need to learn everything about our Self. What is it we enjoy, what will we tolerate, what will we not tolerate, who do we want to embrace in our sacred circle, what are our likes and dislikes  ... indeed, we need to become our own best friend. We need to learn to be as comfortable with our Selves as we can be. 


Blessings & Love, my friends ... 
Namasté.

An Excerpt from my Upcoming Book ...

This lovely photograph states: "If you don't believe in miracles, perhaps you've forgotten you are one ..." From notsalmon.com

Today, while I listen to the rain falling in torrential sheets outside the open French doors that lead out to the lanai, I am contemplating the perfectly imperfect Life I've lived thus far. I've been through many trials and tribulations in my Lifetime, and yet have emerged ... no, not emerged ... PUNCHED through the darkness to reach the Lighter side of Living again and again ...


I could have blamed my parents for the numerous negative feelings and emotions and hell that my childhood produced. Those emotions and destructive behavioral patterns plagued me throughout my teen years, even into young adult hood and beyond. 

There is nothing so pure, so perfect, so unconditional and righteous on this Earth ... as a Mother's Love. No one can ever love you as your Mother does. Forever.

I continue to struggle with some of the issues that now blatantly obscure my insight and judgement at times still ... but that I have become much more aware of in the past 20-25 years or so; since my heart, mind, and Soul have opened and I have learned to take responsibility for my own happiness. I could have blamed my parents and I could have been the world's nastiest, most angry bitch! But I did not blame them, and I have not become the world's nastiest, most angry bitch. 

Beauty and serenity are found within your Soul, within your Heart ... 

Rather, I drank my dark secrets away for many years in my teenage years and early adulthood. I chose to leave a situation that I was extremely unhappy in, when I was in my early 20's, working as a nursing assistant for a mere $4.50/hour while supporting my two young children alone. My son was only 2 years old, my daughter an infant of 3 months old when I decided that I didn't want to raise them in a mutually abusive, negative situation any longer.

Nor did I want to remain miserable myself,  just so my children could be raised in a two parent family. And because of the trust issues I already had with men pertaining to the incest and sexual abuse experienced in my childhood, I could not fathom raising my children with a man who was not their father, for fear they may suffer some abuse, as well. When I left my marriage, I did so with the idea that I would be raising my children alone, at least until they were a little older. I stayed out of relationships for 6 years following my divorce, until my youngest child was 7 years old. And then, I entered my first Lesbian relationship.

I was a young woman of only 23 years when I left my husband in May of 1985. Basically, I had absolutely no support, emotional or otherwise. My friends were all busy raising their own families. My mother and step-father were busy with their own lives, and shortly after I left my unhealthy marriage, they took my two youngest brothers and moved 3,000 miles away to Las Vegas. My siblings did not keep in touch, they had their own lives and were too busy for me and my children, for the most part. 

Forge ahead no matter how difficult the road is ... we have many obstacles to overcome in Life, but if we just keep putting one foot in front of the other, we will survive!

But I forged ahead, as I have always forged ahead. I do not regret anything from the past, as I have learned more about my Self along the way than most people learn in a Lifetime! I have seen people remain in miserable marriages and make everyone around them as miserable as they feel inside. Thank you, that is NOT for me ... not then, not now! 

I have always trusted that Something Greater had my world in very powerful hands ...

Life is difficult enough without having to put on a mask to pretend that you are happy in a dead end marriage 'for the sake of the children'. Thanks, but no thanks! Anyway, you never fool the children. Children are much more uncluttered and perceptive than adults ever could be! They know when their parents are unhappy. 

Besides, I chose to become my more Authentic Self and I chose to do that on my own ... no matter what.

Blessings ~
Kathi xoxox

Renewal!

The sun rises on this little town somewhere in the world, and people stir in their sleep. How miraculous is Life! How grateful I am that I have eyes to see the beauty in the world ...

I am grateful to be alive! I open my eyes each day and I feel very fortunate! Fortunate enough to greet each day with a renewed sense of hope and love! My Life is rich with wonder, love, and beauty ... I simply don't take enough time each day to realize just how rich I am! 

Having escaped the clutches of Death last year, I am renewed in my Hope and Faith that there is Something Greater out there ... Something that may not be tangible or visible to the naked eye, but Something that can be felt on a deep, Soul level.

I have always had a personal connection with Great Spirit, God, Infinite Intelligence, Goddess ... there are many names for this Being ... the All Knowing ... I have a renewed sense of wonder, such as a child might have with the world around himself or herself. 

Although I have passed through several painful losses in the past year through Deaths, and other circumstances beyond my control, I continue to forge ahead with happiness and serenity. At times, I am touchy and I lose awareness that all is right in my World ... and in doing so, I lose touch with my Connection to Great Spirit ... and my emotions get all gnarly! I know what I require when that happens ... I require the gentleness of another's soft energy ... a shift in my own energetic field. A subtle shift. A therapeutic shift ... some Reiki Energy. 

I am opening my Self up to the wonder of Reiki Energy again ... because I have not used it as frequently or freely as I could have in the past. I know it's there for me, but I choose to let it just Be and not use it as freely as I can, as a Reiki teacher. 

I am opening up again ... like a Lotus flower that has slept for many Moons ... like a rose in the Spring, after the weight of the Winter snows has lifted ... 

I open freely to the Universal Energy of Reiki. I am free to experience the healing light of Reiki Energy. I am One with the Energy. 

Namasté, my friends ...

Kathi