Love this jpeg ... Peaceful

Greetings! 

Not sure how many are still following my blog, but it doesn't matter anyway. It's been nearly 4 years (April 14th, 2011) since my CABG, and lately I've been feeling kind of strange. It's not that I haven't been taking care of myself. I've dropped nearly 100 lbs since my surgery (I initially gained around 60 lbs following my CABG, and I believe I was depressed and didn't even recognize it!) and I've been working out, running, elliptical, weights, etc. I'm eating well, I'm focusing on my health. 

But I've been having strange pains again, and feelings of depression and high anxiety lately. I can't sleep well, and I'm extremely stressed out, for some reason. I feel as though I'm going to die, in short. Perhaps it's craziness on my part, because I'm sure there's a reason I'm here, and that I made it through that extensive surgery for a reason. But it's a feeling I'm fighting with lately, that feeling of impending doom, so to speak. Anyway, I have an appointment with my cardiologist next week and we'll see what he has to say. 

Just thought I'd post something at this point, as I'm up at this hour on my day off and crying for no reason again. Something is going on psychologically with me, and perhaps it's more than psychological. Perhaps it's Spiritually, as well. Time will tell. In the meantime, be good to yourselves and each other.

Peace <3
Kathi